Like a numbing pain that doesn't go away. It gets better @ times, so fine that it can be pushed to the back of the mind - then suddenly a sharp stab reminds u of the wound & the pain can be felt once again. It's so hard. So hard at times to just forget and let it go. An amputation of the festering limb might be necessary but it'll require a tremendous amount of strength. Mental strength that I don't seem to possess anymore. Not even anger & rage is able to give me that addtional boost.

*sigh* Can anyone even be trusted to keep up their end of the bargain these days? Is it so deep ingrained in human nature that it's inevitable that people lie or hide things from each other?

I can't help wondering -- why do I even bother? Considering that I've a track record of having everything thrown back against me eventually. The promises are sweet. They always are. So sweet that they make the bitterness @ the end just so much more terrible. As mentioned before, Hope can be a dangerous thing.

Sometimes I just wish, that my Life would hit a plateau. It might be boring that way... but it sure beats the emotional roller coasters. Am probably just getting too old for all this crap anymore.