I can't remember when was the last time I took at train @ 6am. Must have been a really really long time ago since before I moved back home >1yr back, I still had Harusame. Blahhh come to think of it, I had no reason to travel at that kinda godforsaken hour after I left secondary school. Even my earliest lecture in NP was 8am? Anyway it was a refreshing change nonetheless. And it was for a good enough reason anyway. Yeah that'll pretty much mean that I'm gonna take a nap in the day... but ah well, itz not as if I've got anything that I simply have to do in the day. The night is always a better time for the activities I indulge in anywayz.

Mhmmm gotta enjoy such carefree days as much as I can I suppose. They won't last forever. Sometime in the near future I'll have to look for a freaking job & allow myself to be swept away by the drudgery of a "normal" life. /spit. Wish there's some way less nasty to escape this circle than Death. Having someone in my Life does make it easier to bear though... heck, if this continues, I might actually grow to enjoy it. Itz nvr ceases to amaze me how 1 person can make the difference in this goddamned world.

Will this last? I dunno. I'd like to think that it will. But I guess I just don't have enough faith. I just can't muster sufficient strength to place my trust in another person fully anymore. Am I afraid? Perhaps. Coz it does hurt much more when u fully believe something will work out and it just crumbles into dust. I know, it doesn't seem right to doom something frm the start... but I guess being pessimistic gives me the mental preparation should it really fail for any reason. /shrug ultimately, there's nth much I can do except adopt a wait-and-see attitude & keep my fingers cross that this time, there will be a happy ending to this tale.

Anyway my eyes have recovered pretty much. Gonna start looking for a part-time/temp job soon. Yeah ~ gotta shove my lazy ass of WoW and actually DO something irl.

Mhmmm as for studying in Aussie. Think I gotta scrape that idea off my mind. Managed to speak with a rep frm Queensland a few weeks ago, and honestly, I can't think of a way to raise the amount required. Foundation course aside, it'll be like 400k for 5 years of study. 400k. That can purchase a 5-room HDB in Singapore for sure. Even if I manage to find some financial body that is willing to offer me that loan amount, the repayment period is gonna be like what... 2 decades? Kinda impractical considering that I'm gonna be 30 in 2 years. Blahhhh!!

Besides, now I actually do have a reason to wanna remain where I am. Maybe it might seem like giving up an entire ocean for just 1 herring... but well, thatz something that I would do. Coz the entire ocean won't matter w/o that particular fish in it =)