Tuesday, July 14, 2009
15:13
Main Entry: aunt·ie
Pronunciation: \ˈan-tē, ˈän-\
Function: noun
Date: 1725
Since 1725 - mhmm that's almost close to 3 centuries that the word has tormented females worldwide when use inappropirately. Yes, the word reflects the speaker's respect towards an older female... but what if it's used to address someone not much older than urself and who isn't biologically a sibling of either parent? Now thatz gonna be one hell of an insult, isn't it?
Now now, why am I blogging about this? Nah ~ I wasn't addressed that way by a kid today (though I've had been before in the past). The thought of this entry just came to me when I was reading the New Paper during lunch. More specifically, about the article regarding how Zoe Tay came under the fire of netizens when irresponsible comments regarding her wrinkles were made - to which she mentioned that she's unable to live up to the viewers' expectations and that she'll never consider even botox to retain her career. Apparently the wrinkles were so obvious on high-def tv that nit pickers chose it to become a point of debate.
Well, I've never been a fan of Zoe Tay, or even local television to begin with, but I'd say - Kudos for her for her comments in the paper! Yes, I stick to my stand that females should never go under the knife in order to enhance their looks just to be socially accepted. It's just unnatrual. Usage of skincare products is fair enough. Undergoing plastic surgery is just ridiculous.
However, I can see why females are forced to take that path. It's just how the world is so stupidly unbalanced. Like it or not, females are (and have always been) judged based on the way they look and the benchmarks have been set by the mass media. I don't deny that first impressions count. But humans should have the logic and maturity to look beyond the packaging instead of letting them remain forever.
It's just scary, thinking, as I ate. That at 28 the end of this year, am no longer in my "prime". The way I see it, females are in their prime 18-25; while males are a decade later at 28-35. I'm 3 years past that stage and in another 2, I'll hit the big "3". I've gotta face up to reality that not only I'm no longer as young as I used to be (duh), I don't look young anymore either. Traces of my age are starting to show on my face, on my skin. Perhaps it's time to seriously do something about it... and I guess adopting a healthier lifestyle and maybe even basic skincare are the 1st steps *sigh*.
The wrinkles are forming, the "light" in my eyes is fading, I'm physically weakening... etc. the future doesn't look too promising. I'm gradually approaching the age of my mum as I know it ~ yeah, I always remember my mum @ 36 for some reason. Guess that's when in Primary One, am asked how old my mum is and all. I can't remember how she looks like at that point of time though. All I know is age is catching up with me. 36. Gosh. I was born when she was 30.
Is my time running out?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
09:59
Like a numbing pain that doesn't go away. It gets better @ times, so fine that it can be pushed to the back of the mind - then suddenly a sharp stab reminds u of the wound & the pain can be felt once again. It's so hard. So hard at times to just forget and let it go. An amputation of the festering limb might be necessary but it'll require a tremendous amount of strength. Mental strength that I don't seem to possess anymore. Not even anger & rage is able to give me that addtional boost.
*sigh* Can anyone even be trusted to keep up their end of the bargain these days? Is it so deep ingrained in human nature that it's inevitable that people lie or hide things from each other?
I can't help wondering -- why do I even bother? Considering that I've a track record of having everything thrown back against me eventually. The promises are sweet. They always are. So sweet that they make the bitterness @ the end just so much more terrible. As mentioned before, Hope can be a dangerous thing.
Sometimes I just wish, that my Life would hit a plateau. It might be boring that way... but it sure beats the emotional roller coasters. Am probably just getting too old for all this crap anymore.
Friday, June 26, 2009
16:38
Yeah am just gonna jump on the bandwagon & post this. Am darn sure ppl around the world have already begun to do so since yesterday. Well ~ I just found out about the death of MJ via another user's wall post on
Facebook and tbh I was pretty surprised when I saw it. Apparently, after speaking to a colleague, it was huge news today morning. Haha. I dun read the papers or watch the news remember??
Anyway, anyhow, well considering that I like a couple of his songs (especially "Heal the World")... here goes. Just a tribute of sorts.
Michael Joseph Jackson
(29 Aug 1958 - 25 June 2009)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
17:25
Ughhh am exhausted. Nightly raiding & WoW-stuff has taken it's toll. Especially now that I no longer have the flexibility to sleep/wake any time I want. Perhaps I'm just getting old. No longer can I get away with merely 4-5hrs of sleep. Am getting almost 7 per day and it just seems insufficient. *sigh* If this continues, I might have to make the terrible decision of doing a /wowquit when I get a perm full-time job after I return from Greece (that is if the trip goes on as planned).
The Greece trip isn't helping either. This is the 1st time am doing something like this from scratch. I never travelled outta the country much to begin with, and the few times I did, I was either tagging along with someone else as a planner or went for a package thingy. This would be the 1st time I gotta do research on flight, transport, accomodation and even work out some form of a initerary. Blahhh ~ wish I can get more help with this though. Dun really have the time to do as much research as I'd like to. Work takes up the better part of the day, and when I get back, itz off to raiding till about 10:30pm. Then it'll be dailies till 11+, some clicking ard on Facebook, by then itz time for bed. The weekends aren't spared either. Ulduar 10-man is going on Fri and/or Sat nights.
Srsly, I think I spend too much time on WoW. Itz getting ridiculous. Have already forsaken my warrior, but looking @ the way things are going, I don't have time for anything else! I've got zlich social life, I barely go out anymore, I don't even have time for my Sims ffs! Gosh ~ tbh I wouldn't be WoWing that freaking much if it wasn't for Wormy.
In some weird way, this is feeling like the "Ben Incident" all over again. The feeling of having to do everything by myself. Perhaps thatz just the control freak in me taking over. Maybe I can't just delegate part of the 'work' to another person and trust that he/she will do it the way I want. Then again, maybe itz not me... considering that nothing is really being done to show for. Seems like just waiting for me to do it. There are deadlines to meet, like it or not. Flight tickets, accomodation... all that shit gotta be booked in advance. Am running outta time if the intention is to leave in Sept 2009. Blahh, at the pace things are progressing, I dun even think we'll be ready by Dec 2009 =.=
This is annoying. Really. The thought of the hours of sleep I gotta sacrifice to get things done. Arrrrgghhhh. I honestly wonder if itz gonna be worth all that trouble.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
17:45
"There are things in Life money can't buy."
So the saying goes.
I'd prefer to disagree. That saying is just bollocks. Everything (and everyone) has a price. The only question, if there should even be a question involved in the first place, is how much. Really, I can't think of anything in the world that can't be bought. Friendship, companionship, love. Mehh... pay me enough, even if I dislike u, I'll be ur friend or pretend to be. The items bought might not be "real", but there's no denying its existence. It might be nothing more than merely a facade, and according to some, it wouldn't "last". Thing is, with money, is it even necessary for the things to last in the 1st place?
Well ~ just put it this way. I buy a companion who goes thru' the pretense of caring about me, who gives me the attention I need. It might be a lie, but at the end of the day I still get what I need. So what if it doesn't last? When that companion leaves, I'll just buy another.
Foolish of me, you might think. Naive of you, I'd say.
Ridiculous are those who think that anything lasts forever at all. Everything that has a beginning will have an end. Even things that seemingly don't have a start will somehow finish someday. Eternity. It lasts only as long as you want it to last. It can be something as fleeting as a few seconds, or something as painful as centuries. It all depends on a person's perception.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons, even death may die."
Yeah yeah, that line is from the Necronomicon. Fiction it might be, but that is one frequently discussed couplet. Unfortunately, no, I have yet to read much of H.P. Lovecraft's works. I vaguely remember reading a collection of short stories years back. But aside from that, nopez. I intend to someday though. That reminds me too of an art book I've once chanced upon in Kino Orchard. Artwork of the Necronomicon. Itz beautiful, really. No kinda art I adore more than gothic art.
25min more to burn. Then I guess it'll be a night of raiding, assuming I get a raid spot. Yeah ~ till date, am STILL being passed over for others in guild even though am not exactly low on the dps meter. I can't deny that it upsets me still, to a certain extent... but guess someday I'll outgrow it. I should really learn to live by the principle that - the actions of people who do not matter, do not matter.
Blame it on a low self-esteem that I can never seem to shrug off I guess. Either that or a perfectionist attitude. Even if ppl claim that they don't expect stuff from me, it doesn't matter... coz I expect certain things of myself. Certain standards must be attained or I'll just feel... inadequate. A feeling that I'm getting alot these days. Am just unable to get things right at times. Am unable to respond appropirately, and am unable to reciprocrate sufficiently... resulting in a total destruction of mood and further lowering of my self esteem. Not to mention, it leads to sleepless nights. I'm just made this way I guess. I blame myself. What is there not to blame? Every action has to have a reaction. Being unable to control my emotions, being unable to rein my thoughts, is failure on my part.
Complex huh? Now tell me Life is actually simple ~
